Procrastination- An extract from the life of a B.Tech student

I was waiting for the weekend to write another post. Not that I was busy, I just could not start working, stuck in the "making-up my mind" phase. Procrastination doesn't spare anyone. Following is a short expression (it's quite long actually) of how a typical engineering student prepares for a test in college. 

I have a test tomorrow, need to score good in this one because others didn't go well. There is a full day and full night to go so I am relaxed. I plan out my schedule, decide to start preparing from today evening after having sufficient sleep to pull an all-nighter. But no, I have to go to the market to buy some stuff I have been postponing and better to do that today because I have to "study" later. I go to the market, and I find some really cool stuff too which wasn't there earlier so I have to buy that (Obviously!). I come back by 5 pm. I should have started preparing by now but I can't because I had to sleep to be awake at night. So I sincerely set an alarm to wake up after exactly 2 hours of sleep. After having a a very good nap I wake up hungry, but how can I be hungry? Because it's dinner time already. May be my alarm tone was so charming that it sent me into an "inception dream" (there is no such thing, don't Google it!). #MovieReference

Dinner lasts for another hour, find some friends on my way back from hostel mess to my room, had to ask their preparation status. They say they haven't started, I know they are lying. Yeah, I have a lie detector fixed in my head; I borrowed it from Nick Fury. So I am a little tensed now, just a little. But I am confident enough; it's just a small test. 

What do I need now? I start looking for notes to study from. I had them yesterday but can't find them now. Oh! I had lent it to a friend for photostat, I didn't get it back. I sprint to her room, ask for my notes. She is a fellow procrastinator; she is watching Friends (the tv series) to freshen up "before" starting to study. We discuss the episode and some other local gossips and another hour passes. I get the notes but I need coffee for maximum concentration. Got coffee now, all is set, I settle down and seriously go through the index, mark the pages to study and happily cross the ones not to be covered. Suddenly my phone beeps, some discussion has started on the group chat regarding the syllabus. They say another chapter is also included in tomorrow's test syllabus. Little more stressed I skip the introductory part of the chapter, let's start with the important topic. I go through the text, didn't get it, read it again. Nah! Still nothing. I need to google it, I am lost in phone now and have to check facebook occasionally because my friends are commenting on my profile photo so I have the moral obligation to reply them. 

So, this topic seems tough, it has a derivation which has five sections. Doesn't seem important. I skip the topic for morning. This continues for few hours. It's quite late now but I haven't done much. Feeling tired, I decide to take a short nap because I care about my health so much (only when it's not required). I'll get up in half hour and finish everything. To my disappointment I wake up half + three hours later. Sun is out already, my heart skips a beat. The test is in about two hours. Feeling horrified, I call a friend and get a list of expected questions and FAQs. I have no time now, but I can see the topics mentioned in these questions. Ultimately I haven't even covered half of the syllabus. I reach college and try to grab the seat closer to the geeks so that I can peek in their sheets. 

Finally, I write the test, trying to extract the most of my poor photographic memory. Hoping for the examiner to be either lazy or too happy so that he just misses the fact that none of the answers make any sense, here I am, proud of my "hard work".

Everyone’s story might differ from this but more or less it will be the same. Temptations and distractions overpower our minds very easily. Beating procrastination would require strong commitment and today with so many distractions around it's tough for students to be consistent with hard work. And why should we be, when last day studying gets us good marks. Thanks to our awesome education system where "if you cram, you top the exam". Procrastination has been a by-product of such system. Obviously, why to cram every day when it can be done on the last day. 

Being the Jack of all Trades

We have heard the saying "jack of all trades, master of none". There are different perceptions of this saying. If the term "master" is considered as the label for expertise and excellence then "jack" would be mediocre or person who spreads himself thin over a broader skill set.

In the modern world, it is he who specializes who survives and thrives. I believe it's after all the society which demands specialization or needs us to gain 'expertise' in particular field and remain alien to other things. Yes, you might have a natural inclination to some skill and you might have achieved certain level of mastery in it, but this doesn't mean you shouldn't be open to new fields and experiences.

I personally wish to be the person who can be asked to fix any kind of problem. I like to be creative in my interests and try to involve myself in fields which are far apart. Obviously no one can be Leonardo da Vinci now whose wiki page describes him as a "polymath, painter, sculptor, architect, musician, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, geologist, cartographer, botanist, and writer."

Being fearless in our choices and interests finally defines who we are. There is no point knowing every particular detail about a field and still digging deeper rather than taking a walk around the neighboring field. It's refreshing to dive into something new. I like to read about politics, arts, sports, geography, history; I sketch or paint often; I like to play hard; I can speak to a crowd; I am curious about things which do not necessarily have link to my field of study or profession. Now, this might make you think I have short attention span and you might be right. #Bummer 

But there are scientific studies that show that when you try different things out for periods of time and you gain proficiency in different creative fields, those things build upon each other. It helps you approach problems with more creativity and more ingenuity. Having experienced that often myself, there are some negative perceptions too of being "jack". Doing a bunch of things together will lead to very slow rate of proficiency gain in those fields. But choosing one path and pursuing it wholeheartedly will make you the "master" of it in lesser time.

It sure is a debatable topic. Being a master is great because they are more popular, paid more than the "jacks", they have more influence and hence more followers. But if you are a "jack" you have insight to many areas, you can be a sort of 'Swiss knife' which can perform different tasks. Of course, there will be times when a "jack" might fail due to lack of expertise but then comes his ability to befriend a "master" of that field and get the work done finally. 

I might sound biased towards the "jack team" (myself being a part of it), but I find the "masters" boring. I don't want to be a Nobel Prize winner in certain field of science at the age of 50 and not know how to play basketball or paint or even talk to people.

Why be so simple? Be too complex to be categorized or labeled.
Look far and wide.  There are worlds to conquer!!

Sarcasm? ..Why not !!

I consider sarcasm as one of best ways to express irony, an art of expressing the situation in an amusing manner. Yes! It might hurt the audience sometimes but if the speaker worries about people getting hurt, sarcasm loses its soul i.e. "audacity". It cannot be described as strictly hurtful or aggressive humor. It is a form of expression that prevents you from lying, gives you courage to say what is right but in a comic manner.  I am a firm believer in sarcasm. I use it as a tool to initiate conversations and sometimes to dodge them too. It helps me speak my mind. 

Sarcasm is often called the lowest form of wit or humor. But it's so much more fun in saying the opposite of what is happening at the time. If my friend is lurking around doing nothing, I would prefer saying "Dude, you look really busy!" rather than saying "You are so idle". 

 

It's not always possible that the person at the receiving end of sarcasm is also witty enough or in a mood to take it. He might turn out to be Sheldon Cooper. It might cause problem sometimes. Once my friend was upset due to low score in an exam, and I greeted her as "Awesome, I am impressed. How did you manage?" She did hit me with the thickest book she had, but later we had a good laugh.

What I mean to convey here is, we can't speak truth all the time. Sometimes we can just satirize the situation. If someone shoots sarcasm at you, reply back with sarcasm 2.0. Believe me it's harmless if you have right crazy bunch of people around you. Getting punched on the nose once in a while is fine by me. Yesterday I was in an elevator with another girl; she pressed the button for 4th floor and looked too anxious to reach there. She re-pressed the button for about 4 times till the lift was about 1st floor and that was the point I couldn't control the urge to speak. "Yeah, I think now it should accelerate." I often do it, shoot sarcasm on people before thinking whether they will catch it and laugh or just punch me back. But thankfully she laughed and also didn't press the button again. 

Well, I am no Chandler Bing, he is the ultimate God of sarcasm. But yes, I often use sarcasm as a shield from those annoying people who can't bear blunt truth and also don't usually understand sarcasm. This is how I choose to be. I can avoid getting too serious about things by being sarcastic and so can you. 

We always need a defense mechanism against the dull world out there. So, let's be witty and take those punches head-on !!  

My first few days in a software company

I joined a Software company as a trainee in January, 2015. I must say it took me some time to get used to this environment. Being an engineering student I have my own speed and preferred way of doing things. Anyone who is also an engineering student will understand that we have a habit of working under pressure. This is how we pass our semester exams with presentable marks. We can't just be consistently working and complete a scheduled task well before time. It's the work done under pressure of deadline or fear of losing that extracts the best out of us. That's who we are..we are engineers. 

I must say things here are weird as I have never been to a software company ever. No one in my family has. Rather it was my first ever "office experience", excluding the casual trips to my parents' offices. Coming to office every day, sitting 8-9 hours facing an emotionless knowledge box (the computer in my cubicle) and figuring out C language codes… it doesn't attract me yet.

Although, this wasn't unexpected but finally being here as a part of this lifeless air in the cubicles amidst the random "tick- tick" of keyboard and faint mouse clicks, I now understand the value of "having interest" in one's work. Why I am saying this? May be I don't have interest in programming. Or it's the unfamiliar and workaholic working conditions. In college, it was all about handling things as they come, life was uncertain and exciting. Now it's just long C language codes (by long I mean around 800 lines only in the main function), data sheets and command prompt screen.  

While sitting in my cubicle I crave to rush out of the centrally cooled, sealed and corked building, see the world outside. The only relief from the damp environment is the fellow workers who are like me, just with more experience and capacity to work here. I have observed people around me; they all work and joke around often. Sometimes I hear chatter and laughter from the next cubicle discussing about a new movie or a prank played over a colleague by sending a fake invitation to every team member announcing his marriage. Such things restore my interest to this changed life. 

It might take a while to get used to a professional life. I do miss the days when I could just lie around doing nothing, ROFL-ing with friends and planning a day which may or may not include attending lectures, sleeping or texting during class and tensions didn't stick along for long. 

College days won't come back, what can happen is me getting used to the new life, accepting the change and be a part of it. I am a fighter, won't give up easily! 

Growing Up

Growing up is an interesting phenomenon. I have always thought why as kids we were so curious about the world around us. I remember how I asked all kinds of absurd questions to my father when I was around 5 – 15 years of age. I was a super curious child, had doubts about almost everything; Why is milk white in color? Why are all the leaves of a tree of the same shape? Why can't we understand animal sounds? Why do people die? These questions seem pretty deep now but at that time I just blurted them out and my father always had graspable answers for me. As a child we never really worry much about consequences of being extremely original and outright. This gradually fades away with age if not maintained.

Growing up is a matter of state of mind. It is rightly said we are as young as we feel. I am fascinated with the changes in me during this process of developing mental maturity. I have felt happiness in certain situations which denote I did grow up mentally from what I was. This post is dedicated to those small realizations I underwent in daily life, which might point out gradual evolution from being puerile to grown up. 

These small things did bring joy and helped me to see the brighter side of maturity.

Some of those are mentioned here: 

• Keeping calm and smiling off criticism. It takes courage to hold back when people condemn you. This reminds me of Lord Buddha. A man used to insult him often, but Lord Buddha never felt offended or replied back. On being asked the reason for being so calm, he simply replied : 

     "If someone gives you a gift and you refuse to accept it, to whom does the gift belong?"

     #SarcasmAlert

• Waiting patiently in a queue and not getting frustrated easily. But this might drastically fail in case of internet queuing or waiting for the loading to complete. 

• Taking responsibility and finding solutions on your own. Blaming others doesn't lead you anywhere rather makes you powerless over your own life.

• Radiating positivity. Making the best of what you have and never forgetting how awesome you can be.

• Sorting out the inner conflicts and choosing the very first solution popping in head. Believe it or not, the first ones are mostly right.

• Not getting emotionally attached to material possessions and prioritizing experiences rather than mundane objects. Clinging on to things makes it tough for us to cope up with the transforming world.

• Avoiding assumptions about people before knowing them and giving second thought before criticizing. Preconceived notions will always lead to disappointment, be it about assessing a person or situation.  

• Making your own life-fundas. If you don't have your own experiences you are not living it right.

• Being independent and self sufficient in your journeys. Handling things your own way makes you feel stronger and grown up.

All these were felt and cherished by me in recent times. May be they don't actually show that I am mature enough but it’s good to be on the right path. We are taught by our parents till a certain age and gradually we learn things on our own, finding our own paths. This reminds me of my father teaching me to ride a bicycle, he held the cycle from behind not letting it fall and I gradually paddled. I paddled for a few minutes and didn't even realize that he was left behind and I was on my own. So, we grow when we hold the handles strong, keep ourselves focused and paddle away with positivity. Falling down once in awhile will make us stronger and go farther.

My Onion Soul

Onions have layers. The outermost layer is for the world to see, for bearing all the hardships of life and protecting the inner rich layers. These outside rugged layers handle the heat, pressure, dirt and all such wear and tear. They also deceive the world about what’s inside.

The more we peel an onion, richer the layers get. These inner layers are the energy containing parts which contain the food, the zest of life. The more layers you remove, the closer you get to real life.

Similar to this onion is my soul – the real “me”.

I am a thinker. Thinking gives me wings and makes me fly to unknown worlds. When I am physically idle, I am constantly thinking. The practical world around me has no relation to what’s cooking in my head. I may be reading or even taking a bath and might as well be thinking about the thrill felt while trekking. So, I have this inner self which is creative, sensitive, emotional, rebellious and also funny.

I want to preserve my inner thinker from the world outside. Like the onion, I keep layers of protective sheets over it, disguising myself like any other common person. I don't want to expose my soul to the manipulative world. I might be funny or absurdly hilarious from outside but honestly some other track is playing in my mind that time. I might be chattering about some stupid stuff, but inside, I might be going through all feasible or infeasible options to help a friend who is upset.

You might be thinking I am scared of revealing my real self or I am an introvert. Why do I need to hide my inner self? Why do I have an ‘onion soul”?

Probably I have been asking this to myself a lot. I have figured out many reasons:

#BulletPointsRock

• May be I am afraid if I remove the sheets and reveal my inner thinker,people might not like me, they might find me weird and not funny as they think now.
• Fear of myself being projected as a selfish person.
• The weird me. One who is weird in every way; thoughts, emotions, desires. Weirdness is cool but not smoothly accepted in real world.
• My inner thinker considers itself as - utterly awesome. So, I am not sure if the world is ready to know “the secret ingredient”(this one is surely inspired from Kung Fu Panda but its true).

So, I think it’s actually good to have a place only for you, away from the world, even from your best buddies sometimes. That place should be preserved, a private place where I can be “me” and only “me”. A place away from social obligations and judgemental society. A place ridden of rushed decisions and based on free thoughts. My onion soul under the rugged covers.